One Missed Call (2008)
Reviewed by Melissa McGahee - May 14, 2008
“Now this will only hurt a little”- Ellie (Ariel Winter)
The plot of this atrocity follows a bunch of twenty-something people who get cell phone voice-mails that are dated a few days in the future. They listen to the messages and are shocked to find out that they hear themselves. Then when the day and time arrives that the voice mail had indicated they die in all sorts of neat ways. Seriously, that’s the plot! Oh, yeah..... the victims also see scary insects, ghoulish zombies, and are eating frighteningly hard candy before biting the bullet as well.
Beth (Shannyn Sossamon) terrified for her friends and for herself, and convinced that the deaths are connected enlists the help of Jack (Edward Burns). He too thinks there is a connection and gladly joins forces with Beth. These two people who have no personality, no chemistry, and have virtually some of the most boring scenes ever to be placed on screen start to investigate and eventually find a link. They begin to research an abused child. They track down the dark and desolate St. Luke’s hospital to free the spirit of the abusive mother. They find her corpse who surprisingly is gripping a cell phone.
Like 75% of the awful horror productions that come out of Hollywood, this is a remake of an Asian film. There is a lame attempt at a shocking ending that isn’t a bit surprising. There is absolutely no character development. There isn’t anything remotely interesting about Beth or Jack. It isn’t to say that they aren’t good actors. One really can’t tell when the script they have to work with is so weak.
The way the film was made there was a slight feel of “Final Destination” shining through. The difference is that “Final Destination” focused on the characters (at least in the first) whereas this had no focus. There were attempts at frightening the audience with strange imagery, but it is the same strange imagery used in nearly every modern horror film. We had the typical gray faced zombies and CGI insects. There is no build. There is no tension. It’s just a waste of time.
The way in which the conclusion tries to tie up the loose ends is ridiculous. The twist is laughable, unless you find (spoiler alert) asthma attacks scary.
Something has to be lost in translation with these movies. They become
watered down. There is no intelligence or thought placed into it. Maybe the problem with remakes in totality is that the director is bound by someone else’s vision and can’t escape it. Maybe the heart is just not in making the film and it is more about the bottom dollar than creating anything that will be remembered in a year.
It is sad to see the state of horror films today. What passes for suspense or thrillers is disgusting. One can hope that Hollywood branches out and that more gain the insight of Alexandre Aja and Rob Zombie. Otherwise, we are going to just keep spawning horrible movie after horrible movie.
Overall, it is an effort to find anything redeeming about this movie. It does have cool cover art, and the ring tone used had a nice melody to it.
Scared Stiff Rating: 1/10 Ghosts suffering from asthma attacks are NOT
scary!!
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