John Carpenter’s Cigarette Burns (2005) – MASTERS OF HORROR MOVIE REVIEW

Geno

By Geno McGahee

I am a huge fan of John Carpenter. His track record is amazing and even his so-so work is better than that majority of the horror that is out there. So, I was very eager to see his entry in the MASTERS OF HORROR series. His short film CIGARETTE BURNS is a mixture of MIDNIGHT MOVIE and 8MM and it easily kept my interest.

Kirby (Norman Reedus) is in mourning. His girlfriend committed suicide after a battle with drugs and he is dealing with her father that he still owes money to and that holds him responsible for her death. Kirby owns a movie house and has a reputation for finding things, which leads him to Bellinger (Udo Kier). Bellinger is a very rich man and offers Kirby big money to track down a film that is said not to exist by some while others claim that the film is evil and has destroyed anyone that has watched it. To escape his debt, he has agreed to track down the film and it leads him down some unsavory roads.

Ignoring all warnings, he survives some sexual sadists to discover the film and take it to Bellinger, but it was the worst nightmare that it was advertised to be. Bellinger cuts out his intestines and tries to play it like a film. That was rather gross and I’m sure that he regretted paying for this film. At least it wasn’t an Adam Sandler movie.

Bellinger is not alone in the madness. Kirby succumbs and it gets the best of him and all of those that were exposed to it in any fashion were forever changed. Although we don’t find out the origins of the film, it is said that it was made by an evil group that is responsible for famine and other terrible things. In the film in question, they actually chop off the wings of an angel on tape. It’s an actual real angel that Bellinger has locked up and has his wings hanging on his wall. It is his only connection to the movie, but curiosity killed the cat here. I sort of felt bad for the angel. I thought that angels were supposed to be beautiful but this one looks like shit. He hideous! Maybe if he got his wings back he’d be hot.

CIGARETTE BURNS is OK. Being a Carpenter creation, I actually expected much more, but it’s still worth a watch. You can’t knock them out of the park every time.

Rating: 5.5/10

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