Granny (1999) – Old Lady Killer HORROR MOVIE REVIEW

Geno

By Melissa Garza

This is one of the many movies that when you begin watching all you can think is, “dammit, they got me,” but, unlike most, near the end it does actually improve, even if only slightly. A low budget slasher with foolish characters that are annoying and a plot too contrived to get into seems virtually hopeless on the surface, but the makers were wise enough to use a frightening enough mask and a slow enough pace where suspenseful moments are actually found.

This movie opens with a teenage boy telling his pals about how he murdered his grandmother in camp tale form as he displays guts and blood as evidence. The whole bit is a played out gag and is a horrible way to start things off. It destroys the chance of having a strong opening to draw the audience in. Instead, immediately we are separated from the characters who haven’t a trace of normal behavior.

For the first twenty minutes, the film attempts to introduce the main players, but due to the bad dialogue, worse acting, and lame jokes, getting to know the characters isn’t as important as hoping that they’ll shut up. None of the would-be victims stand out as important or pivotal to the movie in general. They are used merely to follow the formula of a low budget slasher, and that formula has gotten way too predictable.

On the upside, is the killer. A tall, lanky, and slow moving predator stalks the unsuspecting teenagers and slays them in odd and sometimes interesting ways. Wearing an old woman’s mask with long white hair, and a dress to complete the persona does help provide the unsettled atmosphere that the movie manages to create more than once.

The best scene in the film is found when the heroine Michelle (Katie Dugan) is running away from the murderer. The makers were wise to end all music and utilize the eeriness of silence. As Granny moves slowly through the room, looks around, and begins to make a snail’s pace up the stairs, a darker tone does emerge. If only the rest was able to invoke the same feeling of suspense and trepidation that this scene captured so easily.

This movie was far superior to most straight to DVD horror flicks on the shelves, but still it found itself unable to rise above the problems that plague the genre as of late. If the viewers cannot relate to the victims than it is impossible to care when they are killed. Some sort of realism needs to develop for the movie to capture the attention of those who watch. The death count can be high, the murders can be violent, but without at least one character that stands out as entertaining, interesting, or at the very least human the film will be awful.

One of the major issues is that most of the actors sound like robots when delivering their lines. The conversation is so forced that even if the dialogue was worth listening to, the lack of basic acting skills make it impossible for it to compliment the film in any way. What may have been an excellent plot development becomes a major hindrance to the overall flow of the movie.

To be fair, it does pick up speed when Granny is on screen, and she is on often, but the conclusion and double-twist is enough to make any horror film fan throw something at their TV. Not only did they choose the most overused, cliched endings but the writers attempted to throw in some Shakespearian-esque philosophy that was much too deep for everything that came before.

Scared Stiff Rating: 3/10 – Better than Black Shitmas, but nothing to go out of your way to see.

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